HARFORD COUNTY CHRISTIAN JAIL MINISTRY, INC.

Harford County Christian Jail Ministry, Inc. (HCCJM) is a local 501c3 ministry in Harford County, Maryland, dedicated to bringing the Gospel of Jesus Christ to incarcerated men and women in our community. Our decidedly Christian outreach is supported entirely by tax exempt donations from individuals, churches, and organizations. We work on a very limited budget all of which goes directly to benefit the individuals we serve. God has faithfully provided for our financial needs without any fundraising programs. Please consider how you can help to support this life changing minitry

In Memoriam

We wish to honor our faithful ministers who have gone home to be with the Lord. We thank God for their contributions to His Kingdom. May they enjoy liberty and the bliss

of eternal rest with our Savior Jesus.

Robert D. Armstrong - Nov. 2023 Daniel Brantley - July 2024

Dorthea Courts John Swift - Nov. 2001 James Stratemeyer Jan. 2012

Brian McNey - Nov. 2012 Kermit Stong - Oct. 2014 Millard Hartman - Nov. 2014

Joseph Thomas Blackburn - July 2015 Nelson Acosta - Feb. 2018 David Squire - Mar. 11, 2023

Mark Jenifer - March, 2020 David Russ Morris - July, 2020 Larry Hinton - Jun. 13, 2023

We often hear from families that need advice on how they can help an addicted loved one living in their home. Too many times they assume that after returning from a recovery program that the addiction is gone and life can return to normal. This is far from true. The time immediately after this initial step in recovery is the most dangerous, because complete recovery has only begun. Failure to recognize this and deal with it properly can be disastrous. Every person returning home from jail or residential recovery needs to regularly attend recovery group meetings like Overcomers or Celebrate Recovery. We offer the House Rules below for your serious consideration. Not all of them are going to be appropriate to every situation. Write down your own set of rules and get agreement by all concerned that they will comply and will accept consequences of failing to do so. Also read "Enabling" below.

The Rules

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You are not running a flop house. Rules are necessary. Obedience and attitude are measures of maturity. Ignoring rules by the parent is a disservice to the addict and is not a genuine expression of love. Consider the list below and determine which applies to your situation. (Most will). Before a recovering relative moves in with you they should agree to abide by the rules and attach their signature to the bottom. Failure to enforce the rules only enables one to continue in their addiction.

Must work and pay rent (Suggested $100/wk)

No sleeping after 8:00 AM and before 9:00PM except Sundays

It is recommend to have daily and weekly chores, especially if not working

Must attend church and recovery meetings regularly

Must know who you are with and when you will be home

Must be home by 11:00 PM except for special events with prior agreement

No smoking in the house (optional)

Must pay down debt (w/o interest to family members)

Must account for all money

Must contribute to church or ministry

Must agree to random urine or drug testing

It is advisable to have a mature Christian mentor (non family)

Must have a plan for independence. Look at debt payoff, savings accumulation, income, future housing cost, etc. SET DATES for completion.

Must not drive without auto insurance, valid license, etc. No lawbreaking permitted!

Must take medications as prescribed.

Must not resort to violent or abusive behavior.

Lying and violence is a deal breaker.

Enabling

The following is taken from the Celebrate Recovery manual. Many parents, especially mothers, unintentionally enable their dysfunctional children to continue in their life of destructive behavior. Read these principles of enabling and see if they apply to your situation.

Enabling is defined as reacting to a person in such a way as to shield him or her from experiencing the full impact of the harmful consequences of behavior. Enabling differs from helping in that it permits or allows the person to be irresponsible. It is extremely hard to admit to enabling especially since you have taken a defensive position with respect to others who may have been trying to expose this behavior to you. You may even be co-dependent and psychologically cannot function without the dysfunctional behavior in your life. This requires professional counseling. (See our LINKS page).

Enabling Practices

PROTECTING the person from the natural consequences of their destructive behavior.

KEEPING SECRETS about their behavior from others in order to keep peace.

MAKING EXCUSES for their bad choices.

BAILING OUT of trouble by paying debts, paying for lawyers, providing jobs, etc.

BLAMING OTHERS for the dependent person's behavior (self, friends, teachers, employers, family problems, environment)

SEEING THE PROBLEM AS A RESULT OF SOMETHING ELSE (shyness, broken home, bad friends)

AVOIDING the dysfunctional person or IGNORINGTHE BEHAVIOR in order to keep peace.

GIVING MONEY THAT IS UNEARNED AND/OR UNDESERVED

ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL Planning activities, choosing friends, getting them a job, even arranging for recovery programs. Arrangement must be made by the recovering addict.

MAKING EMPTY THREATS that have no follow-through or consistency. (Oh what a problem this is!)

TAKING CARE of the chemically dependent person by doing what he/she should be expected to do for themselves.